Georgia on my mind...

11:21am Wednesday 24th October 2007

I AM chomping morosely on a chocolate bar as I work out, with the practised eye of the long-term dieter, exactly how many more squares I can eat before I stick it back in the fridge and try to forget about it.

The effort of the calculation is taking the edge off the pleasure, but alas, not enough to make me want to stop; and it's certainly not enough to burn off the calories I'm taking in.

Cheeringly, I've just been reading about how, if we carry on as we are doing, we Brits are going to end up with an obesity explosion by the end of the next decade. Not a pleasant thought, especially for the literal-minded.

Then again, I've also been reading how this Body Mass Index business, the system by which obesity is calculated, might be a tad flawed.

Apparently, if you try out the system using the vital statistics of the average England rugby player, it will tell you they've been eating all the pies.

Now, I don't watch a heck of a lot of rugby, but I've seen it from time to time and it's a while since I thought they looked like they ate anything dodgier than a seven-egg-white omelette and some skinned turkey breast when they sat down to dinner.

Jonny Wilkinson may have knocked back some champers when the world cup ended at the weekend, but I actually believe him when he says that occasion broke a teetotal habit stretching back years.

Speaking of booze, there's also been the recent revelation that the safe alcohol limits everyone has been exhorted to observe since the late '70s were not worked out by some delicately calibrated formula. Apparently, somebody just thought they sounded about right.

To put the icing on the cake, so to speak, now we have Miss England, North Yorkshire's own Georgia Horsley, being told she looks like she needs a good feed. I'm a bit confused myself, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if Georgia didn't know if she was coming or going.

At nine stone and a size eight, Georgia is indeed a long way from being obese. But at a time when there is so much fuss about Size Zero stick insects, and about women's weight in general, I can't help feeling we should leave poor Georgia alone.

She looks pretty healthy to me, and I can well believe that she finds it hard to put weight on. It's some time ago now, but I can still remember when I could have said the same thing about myself. When you're very young, you tend to be the weight you are supposed to be.

In my experience, it's when you're 25 that it all starts to go horribly wrong.

It's time we all stopped comparing ourselves with some potty notion of perfection, obsessing about eating so many calories a day, then burning so many of them up at the gym in order to get back into whatever size we were at the age of 16. I certainly sometimes think that if I spent less time thinking about food I might not want to eat so much of it.

If your clothes feel a bit tight, it's probably a sign that you've put a bit of weight on. Cut back a bit until the belt slackens, and you'll be okay.

Simple, eh? Now, if I could just work out how many squares of chocolate I could eat...